Saturday, September 18, 2010

How Bout Dem Gayboys!

“The homosexual community wants me to be gay. The heterosexual community wants me to be straight. Every [writer] thinks, 'I'm the journalist who's going to make him talk.' I pray for them. I pray that they get a life and stop living mine!”  Ricky Martin (Before he came out.)

Good Morning, Vietnam.  Now I know a buncha you Xians out there are no doubt tired of my persistence in raking your belief system over the coals.  All must be tried in the fiery furnace.  My reasons for doing so are multiform.  For one, several of you who are my Facebook friends, although I may now be hiding your toxic posts, also avow to be Xians.  It is due to the Woohoo I bear in my heart for you that I seek to alert you to your paradoxes.  Also, as a former Xian, I know my contentment NOW versus my contentment then is "beyond belief" and I want to at least open in your mind the possibility that the reason you are an Xian and content to be one is most likely due to you were trained to be one and you've surrounded yourself with others who also share your beliefs and the joy and love you feel may be no more than social contentment.  If you are truly spiritually content and you are not a hypocrite (1) you should get a federal grant so you can teach other Xians your secret and (2)  then more grace unto you and your household.

Another reason to pull Xianity's pants down around its ankles is to show more generally that if you pick any belief system apart you won't have anything left.  It's like unraveling a sweater; you go far enough and there is no sweater.  Here is an axiom, free of charge, for you to file away and never forget:  No one belief system is true except Truth, and Truth is beyond belief.  All valid belief systems give us the means to arrive at Truth.  Hence all belief systems, yes, even maybe Scientology, are true.  We're talking about understanding the Mystery here...not trying to come up with a Solution.

Xianity is a belief system borne in the Semitic/Greco-Roman world and its theologicall raisons d'etre , especially that a solar deity was born of a virgin, was killed/murdered/sacrificed and then resurrected into godhood, are not new.  This is not news, even though you could call it Good News.  It has parallels with many other belief systems much older than it.  In fact, it is fair to say that the founders of Xianity plagiarized other belief systems, especially Zoroastrianism.  It is the Microsoft of belief systems, it did what other religious traditions were already doing, it just made it more easier to use...and also bullied other competitors into near oblivion.  

The crux of my past blogs regarding Xianity and You can be summed up in this:  If you do not have the love of Jesus love of Jesus love of Jesus down in your heart down in your have to ax yourself:  "Is the problem Me, or is it my belief system?"  For me...Xianity taught me to be prejudiced against others, especially black people, not that they were also precious in Jesus' sight.

Today we have a political movement called the Tea Party borne out solely from the trauma caused to white people by the election of a Black president.  They call him a socialist/Marxist, even though they have little idea what those political ideas mean and lump them together as if they were peas in a pod, they call him anything except what he is.  Xianity taught this to me, it was part of my culture to be prejudiced against my fellow man, instead of having love in my heart for my fellow man.  And if you're an Xian and you do NOT have love in your heart for your fellow man, then you're not actually an Xian.  And please spare this author the "judge not lest ye be judged" stuff.  Read Yahweh's Instruction Manual for yourself, lest ye be verily surprised when thou art flung into yon burning lake of fire.  I've taken the beam out of my eye, now I'm trying to tell you about the mote in yours.  Let he who is without sin throw the first stone.  Having come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as sin, here comes a stone at you low and inside. 

Speaking of having love for your fellow man...HOW BOUT DEM GAYBOYS!?!

Homosexuals have always fascinated me.  When I was an Xian, my fascination was due to being instructed that homosexuals were no-good, degenerate perverts who were 24/7 in rebellion against the will o' Yahweh...or at best, mentally ill.  Tea Party backed Christine O'Donnell, candidate for Senator for Delaware has for years claimed that you could cure someone of homosexuality.  And, oh I love irony...she has a lesbian sister.  The universe has a wicked sense of humor.  A former staffer of Mrs O'Donnell's who she claimed was cured of homosexuality has since come back out of the closet.  His emails and phone calls are not being responded to by Mrs. O'Donnell.  Which is just rude.

NOW...having gotten my head straight about humanity and that we're all in this thing together, homosexuality still fascinates me for different reasons.

(I can see this is going to have to be a two-part blog.)  Let me go ahead and address this whole "homophobia" thing.  That means "Fear of Homosexuals."  Now let's compare that to say...well, say for example that you're a certain homicidal archaeologist who has the same respect for women that James Bond has who likes stapling your fedora to your head...then you have Ophidiophobia.  This means when you see a snake, you are probably going to stammer and have sweat bead up on your forehead and stare out into the distance while saying "snakes, why did it have to be snakes." this the reaction that gay folks receive by those who are uncomfortable around them?  Not quite, is it?  I have perceived in others, and myself, a general awkwardness around them.  Which I still have to some extent.  But this is now due to my perception of homosexuals being so different from heterosexuals, which obviously they are.  If heterosexuals are square pegs, homosexuals are round holes.  If heterosexuals are AC, homosexuals are DC.  If heterosexuals are Bobby Riggs, then homosexuals are Billie Jean King.  You get the idea, eh?

You see...homosexuality shouldn't exist.  A pat "not that there isn't anything wrong with that" approach like shown in Seinfield episodes isn't really dealing with the issue, which is why we still have not yet witnessed heterosexuals and homosexuals shaking hands and agreeing to move on.

You see there IS something wrong with homosexuality.  I'm not talking morally, ethically, etc.  I mean it should be impossible.  A man and a woman are attracted to each other based on a number of levels.  A great quantity of those levels and factors are hormonal, are due to pheromones, etc...but THE reason, in the pure end of the examination of this phenomenon is that a man and a woman are attracted to each other romantically to procreate.  Yes, making the beast with two backs is fun and nature put pleasure into the process otherwise...well, let's face it...between the messy fluids and the sheer Lovecraftian nature of the body parts involved...if we didn't get physical pleasure out of it...the sex drive itself might not be enough to compel us to get busy.

(Another reason orgasms in general are so desired is that it is at the moment of orgasm that our fucking monkey/reptile brains shut the hell up for a moment and we can achieve a brief bit of clarity in our consciousness.  More on this in a later friggin' post.)

The sex drive is the drive to pass on our genetic material on to the next generation and romantic love is part of the process for us humans, although studies show that monogamy may be an exception in the Western World (here's where you'll count up all your sexual partners.  Don't put notches in the bed post if you currently have a sexual partner), and that the reason why people do tend to have more than one sexual partner in a lifetime is that we want to spread around our genetic material.  And I'm not just talking about us randy guys here.  It takes two to make a taco.

But that's really the point.  Men and women seek each other out with the main objective being to make little versions of themselves.  That means men and women as they alone are equipped to get jiggy with it and make babies.  This also means...homosexuals can't actually have sex.  Oh yes, they can manipulate...sometimes with the help of naughty equipment...the sexual organs (which is the entire body) to achieve orgasm...but they cannot have sexual intercourse.  They cannot mate.  They are firing blanks.

When Bill Clinton said he did not have sex with that woman, he wasn't committing perjury.  Still, you gotta admit, Wild Bill had a lot of spunk.  (pun intended)

But clearly...homosexuals DO have romantic attraction toward people of the same gender.  They
DO have love and Woohoo for each other the way a mating pair of humans do.  And they want to go to the chapel and they want to get a-married.  They engage with each other in every respect like a male and female combo do, except they can't actually have sexual intercourse.  The question is WHY?  Because it doesn't actually make sense.  What's the point of trying to write the great Uhmurkan love story if there's no lead in your pencil?

So clearly the sex drive to procreate, the hormonal and pheromonal factors that are part of that process are either being overrode by something else or there is something other-than-else going on here.  There must be a change to the paradigm.  But this Truth, that homosexuality, upon examination, defies the whole boy meets girl operating system, is why the conservatives find it so easy to condemn homosexuals as being perverts or mentally ill.  Again, there (appears) to be no logical explanation for homosexuality.  Getting to the bottom (no pun intended) (snicker) of why a man can LOVE a man and why a woman can LOVE a woman will allow us to be able to reach a greater understanding of the human experience (are you experienced?...I am).  There must be a logical explanation to this phenomenon other than the conservative view that homosexuals are perverts or mentally ill.  I believe there is, and this is why homosexuals fascinate me truth...I'm a bit jealous.

My own theory is that homosexuals are the next evolutionary improvement upon humans.  And in my next blog, I'll examine that theory.  Now excuse me while I go kiss the sky.


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